I called poison control before it was even dark out. I’d accidentally washed one of those “do not eat” gel silica packets with his laundry and thought I was going to have to throw all his tiny little clothes away. (They laughed at me; apparently, it only says DO NOT EAT because it’s a choking hazard not because it’s actually poison.)
About an hour after we got home I realized life outside the hospital with a newborn wasn’t as relaxing as I’d imagined… The people bringing us food and ice water, answering endless questions and making sure we kept our kid alive were gone. We were now alone with a tiny new human and not even a little prepared for our first night as parents. 1) we didn’t know how tf to swaddle 2) little dude was NOT having his bassinet.
Out of all the things we’d prepped for, him not wanting to sleep where we planned on him sleeping was not one of them. He also would not stop screaming and, eventually, my husband pulled out the formula the hospital sent home with us thinking my boobs were the problem. I called the hospital in protest and after they told us we couldn’t bring the baby back, they taught me this fun-new-term called “cluster feeding” where basically I just keep feeding the small person until he stops crying (oh how well we know about cluster feeding now… maybe formula wasn’t the worst idea). Once we finally did get him to sleep, the second we put him down the cry-scream revved up again and we had to start all over.
I gave up at 3am and called my mom to come over and hold him while I slept for three hours. Thanks, mom.
Night two was equally disastrous. If my credit card hadn’t been in another room I would have bought a Snoo at 2am. That’s how desperate I was… A $1300 bassinet level of desperation; googling night nurses and seeing if I could take out a loan to pay for one.
We tried every swaddle imaginable: zip up ones, velcro ones, armless ones, I watched YouTube videos on how to “properly swaddle” from someone dressed as a nurse… (I regret not stealing this retro one from the hospital they gave me my baby in) and he STILL ended up rolling onto his side and screaming. We gave up swaddling forever that night. BUT we survived… and, now we know footie pajamas and a Rock ‘n Play will buy us three hours of sleep.
And that sleep is priceless.
I had big plans for a debut photo announcing Hudson’s birth, but I was too tired and delirious to execute my vision. So here’s what we got: